by Nick Grant

The way she stands out in a crowd. Her sex appeal that makes every man she passes yearn to be in his possession. How you slip right into her with ease, clinging to her warmth. Man, that pair of sneakers really is your baby, right? No matter how you break it down, there’s no way any human can give you the satisfaction your favorite sneakers can. Do you care when your significant other gets a little dirty? And when they do, do you clean them from head-to-toe?

A man or woman’s love for their sneakers is immeasurable, so to honor them on Valentine’s Day seems like a must. But what do you get them? Chocolates? Diamonds? A trip to Hawaii? Don’t be silly, they’re shoes, man. They can’t appreciate that shit. What they can appreciate is a beautifully written poem, expressing exactly how you feel. Then they know how much effort you put into it. But guess what? We put in the effort for you.