Substance Over Style: How a Weird Pair of Sneakers Helped Me Tolerate Running

More than looks.

photos by Nick Grant

1.

by Nick Grant

“Nope. Nuh uh. Not happening.”  Those were my exact words when I opened the box and laid eyes on the Newton Kismet runners and subsequently put them on. You see, I strongly dislike recreational running. I usually only do it if these three conditions are met: 

1.) I’m feeling fat (happens entirely too often). 

2.) I want to get the hell away from my crazy, demanding family/job/life. 

3.) My Adderall has kicked in and I’ll spontaneously combust if I’m not super active. 

This Holy Trinity does not align often enough, so, these shoes – which are described as “perfect for people who delight in the pure joy of running” – had a strike against them to start off. But, seeing as though I am now 30 years old, my diet is shit, and my metabolism isn’t what it used to be; unfortunately, it’s time to make running a habit I can’t kick.

I get most of my exercise done playing other sports like basketball or softball, or just chasing my son around our yard , occasionally sprinting when he wants to test me and run toward the street. So, slipping on a pair of running shoes to actually run in is not a regular occurrence for me. 

2.

This next statement may or may not implicate me in my lack of running etiquette, but I have been fairly partial to my Nike Flyknit Racers when it comes to a proper indoor running shoe, though I have used them outdoors without any real subsequent pain or anguish. I enjoyed their close-to-the-ground feel with just the right amount of cushion so I’m not feeling the grooves or pebbles in the concrete. Plus they look great and are considered a top-tier lifestyle runner.

My actual running shoe collection is bare bones, as most of my runners are mostly lifestyle selections that will never see a treadmill or feel the pounding of the pavement unless I was trying to run down a cab or flee from a mob of fuccboi admirers (trust me, it happens more than you can imagine). So, I’m left to turn some of my older lifestyle models – which were at some point in time intended for actual running – when I get the gumption to take a run. Obviously, that isn’t the direction one should take. I mean, I take my basketball shoes fairly seriously as I know my body, especially my feet, are put through rigorous tests on the court. I need to have that same consideration for my running selections, even if they feel as different as these do off the jump. 

The Kismet model’s main selling point is its new 5-lug P.O.P. platform, which is a fancy name for a raised forefoot that helps provide stability and comfort during a run to one of the most beat up parts of your foot. Think about your running stride for a sec and how your feet hit the floor. OK, think about it in slow-mo because I know regular motion probably hurts your brain. Your heel comes down first, establishing contact with the ground, but most of the pressure is put on touch-down and liftoff of the metatarsals of your forefoot. It pounds the pavement pretty hard. Especially for someone as heavy-footed as I am (BITE YOUR TONGUE, I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING, JERK!).

"Am I willing to continually sacrifice my overall appearance whilst wearing these woofers in order to get a better, more wholesome run?"

So, when I first got these and slid them on, the feeling is somewhat similar to what I would imagine those Skechers Shape-Ups to feel like, with less of a rocking motion. The lugs protrude from the outsole pretty prominently. It isn’t uncomfortable, per se, but it’s definitely a weird feeling that, during the slow walking motion of the try-on period, I was not sure I would feel comfortable running in. Don’t get me wrong - the shoes provide most of essentials I associate with running. They’re light, the uppers are mesh and seemed perfect for breathability, and the heel was finely cushioned and ready for impact. They were just the right amount wide through the midfoot as to not place too much pressure or allow too much give on it. The shoe is extremely comfortable with a “but.” A big “but.” I just had a very hard time getting over the lumpy lugs. 

3.

Another thing I was having a hard time wrapping my head around was just how god awful looking they were. These were some real brain-melters. But what I’ve gathered from the running community is that they, as a people, are collectively Ray Charles to the bullshit of making running shoes wearable in leisurely settings. They don’t care how they look, necessarily. They are very much performance-minded - as they should be - and know that with all of the wear and tear they put into their workouts, these will get torn to shreds before they know it. 

However, I didn’t get these to review how they felt on a jaunt around the wood floors of my house or how they looked if I wore them out for a beer with my bros, so it was time to put the proverbial pedal to the metal. 

Once I finally got my motor started after approximately three restarts and numerous rev-ups, we were off to the races and, honestly, my doubts were initially confirmed. My issues weren’t as prevalent as when I was walking because there was more pressure and quicker pressure placed on my forefoot while running. But they were weird, though. They were all I could think about for the first 2.5 miles of my run. The way my forefoot kind of catapulted me forward. The lack of cushioning in the toes. The way the - wait a sec. Nick, you just ran two miles without even considering stopping and/or keeling over. 

4.

Time passing without knowing where I’ve been or what I’ve been doing is a normal occurrence for me but one of my main prerequisites of running - my dosage of Adderall - had been met, so my mind was lucid. It was just occupied by how fricking weird these shoes felt to run in and how I didn’t think I could adapt to the extra support toward the midsection of my forefoot. But as I ran, I noticed that the shoes kept me moving forward. Not, like, rocket boosters or anything like that which I would probably prefer during a run. More like centripetal force attributed to the forefoot lugs and cushion-deficient toe area that kept me on my forefoot more than on the rest of my foot, not allowing it to stay horizontal to the ground as long as a regular-cushioned running shoe might: another area of concentration I wasn’t used to.

Was this what I needed? A shoe that, all-in-all, was comfortable but had a slight quirk that kept my mind preoccupied as I ran? Was this my new cadence but without a regular rhythm I had to establish on my own as I went? When it comes down to it, these shoes are the running equivalent to a psychiatrist visit that gets to the root of your issue. And while mine weren’t mommy issues or sociopathy (I don’t think?,) it may have been that my brain needs heightened distraction - positive or negative - to push me through something I would normally find laboring or just plain boring. Even after that initial run, I found myself going distances with my mind tuned solely onto my shoes when they would normally be trying to decipher all of Future’s lyrics on “56 Nights.” 

Another, perhaps bigger question for the narcissistic side of me: Am I willing to continually sacrifice my overall appearance whilst wearing these woofers in order to get a better, more wholesome run? My original answer, when I first laid eyes on these mud-guppies was “no.” I couldn’t be seen in the public in these. But then I realized that, maybe ugly-ass running shoes was the equivalent to a LeBron-wearing dude stepping foot in the gym. Your first impression is that he can ball, purely judging him by the gear he is rocking and the proper footwear on his feet. Do aerodynamic brain-melters beg the passers-by comment, “damn, I bet that dude is seriously about his running. I mean, look how hideous his shoes are.” So, in conclusion, the Newton Kesmits provide stability, are lightweight, serve as the perfect distraction to all the woes you may face as you run, and are ugly as shit, which means they make you look like a hella serious runner.